midlife, personal growth

Feeling Emotionally Stuck | Tips to Break out of that Rut

Image of midlife woman swinging free from Feeling Emotionally Stuck? Tips to Break out of that Rut

Feeling emotionally stuck?

Here are some tips to bust through the rut.

You tell yourself you can’t do this and you can’t do that. You build an invisible wall between what your heart dreams of and what your mind says you can have.

You feel stuck and in a rut, but what is really going on?

Let’s get real.

You know the saying, where there’s a will, there’s a way. But first, let’s be honest about how we are feeling.

I don’t know about you, but I find the older I get the less tolerance I have for baloney. And I don’t mean the lunchmeat. I’m referring to my refusal to expend energy on fakeness, pretending, disingenuous people, or on any unwarranted negativity.

Not just in my surroundings, but also within myself. If there ever felt like a time for truth, the over fifty “chapter two” is where it hit for me.

The elephant in the room.

I’m going to share a story about elephants that I heard this week which gave me goose bumps and made me cry. I couldn’t wait to share it with you! Not that I want to make you cry, but hopefully, you will have that same kind of powerful moment of understanding (and of self-recognition) that I had.

The story goes that when an elephant is very young, the trainer ties a chain on the animal’s ankle to keep it from straying beyond where it should safely reach. As the elephant grows older, bigger and stronger, the chain is replaced with a rope, then a string, and eventually it is removed.

The big strong intelligent elephant never strays beyond where it could always reach even when the tie is removed because it has been conditioned to believe it can’t. The truth is, if it were to try, there would be nothing that could stop it from busting beyond those limits. But it never even tries because it believes it can’t. It may be “just a story” (no animals endangered in a story!) but the point is well made.

Feeling stuck is an illusion.

In the same way that feeling powerful and deserving is a state of mind.

Consider for a moment, if maybe you haven’t stretched yourself toward what you truly want to do, be, have, feel, experience, earn, heal, explore… because you think it is beyond your reach.

It’s never too late to see things differently.

To understand where and why you’re feeling emotionally stuck.

“It isn’t what you have or who you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy, it is what you think about it.” – Dale Carnegie

How and when you trained yourself not to tug on the string and push yourself beyond fear to where the magic lies.

Yes, failure lies there too, but even failure is progress. There are always lessons in failure that help you to gain ground.

“When you feel stuck and can’t seem to move ahead, always remember that you don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.” – Barbara Corcoran

Without action of any kind, you can be sure you will get nowhere. And is that truly where you want to be? I didn’t think so.

Your emotional wounds are hurdles, not excuses.

If you have sore spots that are stopping you, it’s time to heal them.

None of us have made it to this point without some amount of emotional trauma, grief, loss, disappointment, or suffering. Often, there is past trauma that continues to be a sore spot reminding us of old pain and keeping us afraid of reinjuring that wound.

It’s time to think about the feelings you may be hiding under that “I’m ok, I’m fine” defensiveness. The time is right to start exposing those old wounds to yourself.

Let those emotional wounds come into the light and a fresh perspective. Airing them out so that you can see them more clearly from the newest perspective of who you are now. And so that you can move forward to do what it takes to start healing those wounds.

It’s ok that you will always have the scar that tells that story, that part of your human experience. Remember, we are working on healing, not erasing.

“When you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life, it’s a signal. And it’s not a signal that your life is broken. It’s a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met. Your need for exploration.” – Mel Robbins

How to heal?

It’s personal. There’s no simple one-size-fits-all answer.

Start by starting. Move toward what draws you… try reading, journaling, listening to audiobooks, meditation, movement, prayer… seek help. Think outside of what you may have tried before.

Invest in yourself.

Consider seeing a therapist, giving essential oils a try, exploring sound healing, a session with a holistic nutritionist, or personal trainer, or chiropractor or reiki energy healing.

The point is to take a step.

“Possibility is where you find it.” – Seth Godin

Feeling stuck is a thought constraint we put on ourselves.

We naturally want to blame external influences. Our spouse, our job, our mother, the economy, the job market, the weather… but the truth is (and we’ve established it is high time for truth, right?!) the emotional ball is in your court. Always has been, always will be.

You’ve allowed others to hold the illusion of power, but the truth is you are in charge. Of how you think and what you seek, how you grow and how you heal, how you free yourself from feeling emotionally stuck. And how you live your life.

Take action (even teeny eeny-weeny-tiny actions count.)

“In order to kick ass, you must first lift up your foot.” – Jen Sincero

Take that first little step in the direction of what you desire. Open your mind to alternative perspectives. Coax yourself to shift and see that you are as powerful and brave as you can dare to be.

The elephant is in the room and the elephant is you.

Don’t allow your thoughts and beliefs to keep you tethered to the illusion of your limitations.

Take the time to help yourself. Stop feeling emotionally stuck. Empower your mindset and break free. – Marlene

 


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