midlife, personal growth

Letting Go of Grudges That Are Holding You Back

Hands in the shape of heart against sunset as image for Letting Go of Grudges that Are Holding You Back page

Grudges bring us stress, negative thought patterns and an inability to move forward.

We’re staring down the barrel of a new year so this is a perfect time to clean your emotional slate by letting go of grudges.

It’s time to bring those unhealed wounds of past hurts or insults to the surface, throw some light and attention on them, and then intentionally let them go.

Letting go of past hurts doesn’t mean they are erased.

Those hurts, slights, disappointments and traumatic events will always be there.

They are part of who you are.

Those past hurts and wounds are a part of your story and of how you’ve evolved or more importantly, how you haven’t.

Letting go of grudges is essential to stopping the pattern of negative emotions and thoughts that keep us stuck and unable to grow.

“To let go of our grudge, we have to be willing to let go of our identity as the ‘wronged one'”. – PsychologyToday.com

Releasing those grudges means consciously recognizing and choosing to let go of the persistent feelings of resentment that continue to circle around us.

Resentment moves around and through us, a bit like an infection.

It festers and grows, even though it may not be immediately visible or noticeable, those damaging emotional patterns continue to spread under the surface destroying your peace and joy.

The resentment of grudges handicaps you from living as fully and joyfully as you could.

The grudges of past hurts can manifest in the form of self-doubt and feelings of unworthiness. And those are emotions that can hold you prisoner and keep you from taking actions toward your goals and dreams.

“What we don’t realize is that holding on to resentment is like holding our breath. We’ll soon start to suffocate.” – Deepak Chopra

It’s time to release those energy-sapping harbored grudges that may have formed a hard shell around your softest parts.

Take this opportunity to let the grudges go.

They are destructive and may have prevented you from fully experiencing joy, love, happiness, confidence and from living life to your potential.

So let’s talk about how to finally release those nasty grudges.

Set aside a few minutes of quiet time. In the morning before anyone else is up, or somewhere else where you can have a few minutes alone.

Bring to mind those unhealed emotions of past hurts, tender wounds and resentful grudges.

As you bring the hurts and insults to mind, write them down.

It doesn’t have to be a twenty-page dissertation on she-who-did-you-wrong. Just make a note of the person or incident that left you feeling hurt, slighted or offended.

Acknowledge that you will not forget what happened nor the impact it had on you.

Remember that releasing is not the same a forgiving. Forgiving can not be forced or rushed.

Understand that you are not necessarily forgiving the person(s) you feel is responsible for the hurt, but that you intend to release the HOLD these hurts have held over you.

This exercise is about you refusing to allow the resentment to continue by consciously choosing to release the debilitating grudge.

Remind yourself that you deserve to feel whole, worthy, and able to live up to your potential.

You deserve all the joy, happiness and goal-getting energy that you were born to claim. No person nor emotional injury should dampen your spirit. Least of all, harbored grudges.

Next – if you choose to (and are in a safe place to do so!), ceremonially burn that piece of paper as you pray or say an affirmation of healing for yourself. (I love this part! It’s so intense!) You can also rip up the piece of paper and throw it out, but it doesn’t feel as permanent!

Repeat something along the lines of… I release the resentment and harbored grudges I have been holding not to over this past hurt. I have the power to accept the past and the pain and still clear my head and heart to move forward in love and light.

This is not about the other person or the event that caused the pain. This is about releasing the power it has held over you.

Intentionally releasing the grudge is cleansing. Giving yourself the attention and love you deserve is grounding. You have already paid dearly with subconscious negativity.

If you are sincere in your desire to move forward and release the grudge, your earnest declaration will help you begin to shift your mindset and your feelings.

And that my friend, is a beautiful heart-centered way to start a new year.

Cheers to letting go of grudges; to finding the authentic power within ourselves to release them; and to cleaning the slate to welcome boat-loads of growth and joy in 2020!  – Marlene

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