midlife, personal growth

Midlife: A time to build your dream life

image of clock with dream big sign

If you want to live your dream life, you can. You read that correctly.

But it first requires believing it’s possible and then it demands taking some actions.

After fifty, our vision gets clearer (although most of us are now wearing readers to read!) about what is truly important in life, and what can fall to the wayside.

Our fifties is a decade of truth.

A reckoning, a coming to terms with our authentic self and what we still desire, or perhaps newly desire.

Where we want to live, how we want to live, what we’d like to spend our days doing in the coming years.

“Aging is not lost youth, but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan

It’s cliche, but true that life is short.

As we’ve watch our children grow up and our parents grow old, it’s clear that this just has to be our time.

Our time to build a life that is closer to our dreams.

And there is an underlying urgency that simply wasn’t present in our lives at any younger age.

This reckoning is a part of what I call the midlife awakening.

The realization that we no longer can spend our precious energy on other people’s drama, on absorbing negativity and moodiness from those around us.

The acknowledgement that even though it may not feel like it, we are in control of our lives and if we choose to let our current situations (jobs, partners, friends, bills, etc…) drain the life out of us and smash our dreams for the future, they will.

Furthermore, if we choose to let the dreams of what we want our life to be die because we’re too full of fears, negative thoughts and self-doubt to make changes toward those dreams, then that’s on us too.

We’re past the point of blaming others or throwing up excuses about our circumstances. As I’ve said in previous posts, there are people with far more challenging circumstances than you and me doing amazing things and living their dreams.

This is our time.

No matter what your life looks like right now or what you think is the reasons are that you can’t make changes to build the life of your dreams, stop B.S.ing yourself.

Change is always possible.

And here comes another cliche that you may need to hear right now:
It’s never too late, you’re never too old.

“Time wasted rationalizing the mediocre could be time spent creating the magnificent.” – Jen Sincero

I finally realize, at the ripe but glorious age of fifty-four, that I am in control.

And even if I don’t completely succeed in building the exact life of my dreams, in trying, I will experience satisfaction and meaning and purpose and panties-on-fire excitement along the way!

So, come along with me!

Start by coming to terms with what your dreams truly are. That’s right, imagine. I’m asking you to carve out time in the chaos of your busy-busy day to think about yourself!

Because that’s where the magic begins!

By now you’ve spent decades thinking about others. It’s routine. It’s a well-worn rut in the roads of your brain to push your own needs and desires to the side to take the route that serves those around you.

Your modus operandi has been to serve the needs of your partner, your kids, your boss, your parents, your sister and on and on and on…

And if serve isn’t the right word in your case, perhaps it’s that you’ve learned to push your authentic self and your truth to the side to be who you think those around you want or need you to be.

Well, we’re jogging down to the home stretch of life my friend! We don’t have another fifty years to sit around and ponder this. I’m shooting straight with you here.

This isn’t meant to be a bummer, it’s supposed to wake you up!

If you’re going to work toward the life of your dreams, you’ve got to get busy today!

Right now! Grab a notebook or just find a pen and write on your arm!

What do you want your life to look like? Where do you want to be living in ten years?

How much money will you need to support doing the things you dream of? How will you make that happen?

Do you dream of living in the mountains? Do your dreams include adopting fifteen homeless dogs? Do you dream of touring the country in an RV? Do you want to move to a big city and explore a different museum every day?

Do you dream of being able to retire and live in a little bungalow by the sea?

Do you want to start a business, a day care, create art for an online Etsy shop? Be a personal trainer, personal shopper, yoga instructor, open a coffee shop, rehabilitate injured sloths in Costa Rica?!

Figure out what you want for yourself.

Make a vision board for yourself of what that dream life might look like with clippings and photos. Start a Pinterest board named My Dream Life and do the same.

Buy yourself a beautiful notebook or journal, the kind you look at but don’t want to splurge on. Write down your dreams, save clippings and photos in there. Make some plans for what you can do now to get even one teeny tiny eeny weeny step closer to that life.

And by the way, all of this talk of dreaming doesn’t mean we are unhappy with our current life.

Living with a positive mind and a grateful heart means we love and appreciate all that we are and all the blessings we can count in any given moment.

Wanting more and planning for building the life we dream of, is not the opposite of gratitude and positivity.

In fact, it’s more of the same! It takes a good portion of positivity, gratitude and optimism to believe you can plan and build for even more dream life.

Dreaming is healthy. Like we used to every day (without guilt or feeling selfish) as kids.

Keeping our minds open. Learning to trust ourselves.

“With an open mind you are able to gain insight into ideas and expressions that you may have overlooked or not noticed at all. Remain uplifted and positive to attract your desired results and trust yourself more.” – Healing Energy Tools

Now is the time to pause and allow ourselves to dream again. Looking ahead at the next few decades (now, that’s positivity!) to immerse ourselves mindfully in the present moment while taking steps to build the life we desire.

You are an amazing creature created with all of the mystery, power and magic of the universe. You are able to make changes, even if they’re teeny weeny, to step forward toward the life you’re dreaming of.

Don’t just dream in your sleep. Wake up, think big and let Operation Plan to Build Your Dream Life commence!

Cheers to our chapter two my friends! – Marlene

 


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