I’m just being real. More and more. Just doing me.
Are you like me and finding that midlife is making you feel less and less willing to fake being agreeable?
It is an oversimplification (and also unfair) to chalk it up to hormones (or lack thereof).
I promise you it’s not entirely menopause.
I feel like there is a gravitational force yanking me in different directions. I can go the entire rotation from melancholy to gleeful, all in a day – sometimes all in an hour. And regardless of my mood, these days I’m far less inclined to be pleasant or agreeable if I’m not feeling it.
Overall, I do feel a pull toward wanting to be happy, searching for the good, finding the upside, and the never-ending hope that there will be joy in this second chapter of life. I’m not looking for sustained joy – I just want to know that there will lots of good times ahead.
Not just good times, but real times. Honest, authentic, genuine and real joyful times. No faking involved.
My husband says I’ve been getting “feistier” lately. Is feisty a synonym for bitchy? I honestly don’t think he means it that way, but sometimes I do feel that way. Not much has really changed except my tolerance level. The same things that bothered me twenty years ago still do, but I just don’t tolerate it anymore.
Where I used to bite my tongue, I let it rip.
Definition of feisty, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary: having or showing a lively aggressiveness * SPUNKY.
YES!!! That’s it! That’s totally it! And the example they site is “the movie’s feisty heroine”. I love it!
Now I feel better about being a little more bitchy these days, excuse me – I meant FEISTY.
Actually, I’m a little fearful at times because the filter on my mouth has become paper thin and quite worn out and I think it may just shred one day and there will be no stopping what feisty things I might say!
And so, in the spirit of low-tolerance levels (plus menopause) mixed with a generous amount of optimism, I’m going to commit to wearing my feistiness like an imaginary sword! Ready to whip out and defend my “real”.
Are you feeling feistier these days too?
Well then…let it rip! I officially anoint thee a feisty heroine too!