How can we find the bright side if we don’t feel in control of where we’re going?
Every shift in our lives is just a season. Nothing is permanent. Change is the constant.
I’ve referred to our journey as “the evolution of you” in previous blog posts and I think it’s good way to think about life, especially midlife.
We are ever-evolving. And we are never too old to grow.
Some of the turns in our evolution are difficult and painful, but when we come out on the other side of the dark (and we will) and look back, it always results in growth.
As we ride out the seasons of change that may be happening in our life, i.e. job transitions, kids leaving for college, menopausal funk, a drifting marriage, health challenges, aging parents – perspective is everything.
We can’t always alter the geography of the path (the ups, the downs, the sharp curves) but we can grab the wheel and climb into the driver’s seat.
You are in control of talking yourself into or out of how wonderful or awful the ride is.
“The more that you believe that you are in control of your life, your actions and your future, the happier and more successful you’ll be.” – Mel Robbins
You can talk yourself into being in the driver’s seat, steering to avoid the potholes when possible, accelerating on the up hills, hitting the brakes on the steep declines, and making the best of the rough terrain, or….
You can tell yourself you are the victim and allow yourself to be bouncing around wildly out of control, getting painfully bruised and beat up, riding in the dark trunk of the vehicle.
What’s it going to be?
I imagine you will choose, like me, to be in the driver’s seat and at the very least be able to see where you’re going.
The seasons and changes in your life are inevitable but facing them with the conscious decision to navigate the best possible course in front of you – to commit to living it fully, is success in and of itself.
It can be hard
You may have it harder than someone else, but those facing roads far bumpier than yours have achieved miraculous things in their lives. So why shouldn’t you?
And if we never know what the next season will bring, how big the next sinkhole in the road will be, or how gloriously abundant our next season might be, why not decide to live more fully right in this moment.
Fasten your seatbelt
Chase after the dreams you have. Be your authentic self. Speak your truth. Work on healing yourself.
Challenge yourself to find the bright side in the seasons – in your job transition, your child moving out, your marriage evolving, your health being challenged…
Enjoy the view
And as we look ahead at the road ahead of us, we can’t know for certain what will be on the other side of the hill (no pun intended!) but it is our life and what we do have control over is how we live each moment mindfully and as fully present as possible.
Always moving forward. Always reminding ourselves to get out of the trunk and into the driver’s seat.
Speaking to ourselves with kindness and compassion. Guiding ourselves when we feel lost in the dark to those pinholes of light that lead to the sunshine.
Go get it my friends! Go live it! Get in the driver’s seat!
Immerse yourself in gratitude and mindfulness for your current season…
Raise your glass full of hope and optimism and toast to the bright side and the seasons to come.
Cheers to you all rocking a bright side, self-love, driver’s seat Mother’s Day! (You deserve it because every single one of you has mothered someone in your life, whether you have children or not!) – Marlene
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I am over 50, 59 to be exact. My journey is a little different than probably most of your followers. Right now I am in a nursing home, pretty much bedridden except for trips to the bathroom. I am married, my husband is in an assisted living. I have raised 3 children of my own plus helped raise several others who lived with us over the years. Before I became disabled I was a Registered Nurse, my husband is a retired police officer who was working in the same prison I was, that is where we met. We have 8 grandkids with one on the way. This was not anywhere on our radar for where we thought we would be at this point in our lives. Our plans are never going to be what we used to think they were but we just have a lot of room to plan up from here. I went through some very dark times before knocking on deaths door a few years ago and I had to make the decision to fight real hard or just let go. Well I took a real hard look at everything God had blessed me with and I am still here. I have so much to be greatfull for every day. I believe that the only way to live life is with an attitude of gratitude. From what I have seen it looks like your site is a good way to support that. I hope you don’t mind but I am quoting you for my new motto “Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like & learn to find joy in the story you are living”. I promise not to plagiarize, I will give you credit. I think I will get a lot of joy and inspiration from following you. I am sharing and recommending you to other women in our age group. Most of them are dealing with a lot of the things you address. In my own little ways I try to be supportive of the people in my life because I have found if you are giving then you are living.
Janet, what an amazing and inspiring life story you have. You’re so right – things can be quite imperfect (even downright awful), but there are still reasons to be grateful and count our blessings. Attitude and perspective are EVERYthing, especially as we get older. You are amazing and working hard to enjoy the moments of your life, despite the challenges. Yes, by all means, use quotes! I’m so glad we could connect – I believe we all could use a little encouragement and a positive lift and I’m so grateful the words I write could help you in some way. Thank you for your honesty and kindness. Wishing you much love and light! <3 Marlene