Having good friends in midlife is so important. Even though many of us have spouses or significant others, nothing takes the place of good friends.

You know who they are – the ones who make us feel that we’re not alone in whatever we’re going through. The friends who have our back (literally, they’ll tell us if there’s a hole in our pants) – our peeps, our tribe, our squad. The ones who reach out when it seems we’ve gone M.I.A.

I especially mean the few friends who know us for who we really are.

The friends that accept us with our faults, maybe even love us for them. The friends we don’t have to pretend with, the ones we can speak freely with and not sensor our mouth. The ones that accept us and we accept them, for the entire imperfect beings that we are, and we still choose to be in each other’s lives.

Those are the good friends who will be there when we fall.

They will help us celebrate when we win and have gentle words when we lose. They feel our hurt along with us and they enjoy our successes almost as much as if they were their own. They show up for us, and we for them, in phone calls or texts or messages, just at the right time – almost intuitively when we need them the most.

It doesn’t mean we speak every day, with how busy everyone is, it could mean reconnecting only a few times in a year – but we know they are there.

We trust our good friends to respond when we need them and we do the same for them.

We count on our good friends in midlife as much as ever, maybe even more.

We want them in our corner for whatever joys or fights life brings us.

Nothing quite takes the place of good friends and in midlife. I feel it may be more important than ever.

When we occasionally surface for air because our lives now have a moment or two of relative quiet – we look around at what matters. Beyond our families, work and interests – what never fails to bring us joy, comfort, laughter and courage? Many times the answer is our good friends.

And it doesn’t matter if you only have one good friend.

“Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two good friends, we are lucky,” — Brene Brown.

Cheers to recognizing, celebrating and appreciating the amazing friends we have (no matter how few!).

May we continue to stand behind each other, cherish our friendships, and show up for one another throughout this second chapter of life.