It’s time to speak your own truth and learn to let judgement roll away.
To keep our truth buried inside because speaking it aloud to those around us may mean the heaviness of judgement, damage to friendships, or maybe even the withdrawal of love – is a burden we need to lift.
What price do we pay for keeping our feelings shuttered and our true voices suppressed?
Is it any less isolating, painful and frustrating to keep it to ourselves than it is to speak it and be free?
The older we get, the more we realize the importance of honoring ourselves, speaking our own truth and being real.
Not that we should speak with hurtful or mean intent, but just with honesty – allowing our genuine self-expression. Not faking or hiding what we feel. Instead, let honesty lift the burden of falseness.
The more we start to humbly understand and accept our own worthiness, and the value of our authentic voice, the more we can bravely open up and bring into the light who we are.
Our fear of self-expression is rooted not in being who we truly are, but in how our truth is received by others.
We hold back what we need to say, the truth we want to share, because we’re afraid those who hear us will judge us, will be disappointed in us, or will lose affection for us.
We feel unworthy of being liked, loved and accepted for our truth, for what we feel and have to say in the present moment.
Maybe it starts when we’re children, afraid to speak because we might say the wrong words and be corrected or maybe laughed at. Afraid that our self-expression will disappoint a friend, our parents, our siblings. Feelings of unworthiness for our own voice, opinion, perspective – which may not be in line with the majority – playing it small with our voice from a young age.
Too long spent scared to stick our necks out and speak our truth because we’re worried what others will think of us.
What important truths did you not say over the years because of a fear of judgement or because it was safer to keep your voice small and quiet?
It may have been little things. Small hurts or opinions that you kept to yourself.
Or it might have been enormous, life-altering truths that you kept inside.
So, how can we get past our fear of judgement to express how we honestly feel and lighten our emotional load?
By realizing it’s simply not our responsibility how others respond.
They will gather our words into their mental salad spinner tossed around with their sensitivities, life experiences, perspective and a few slices of their own truth.
What they think and how they respond is the result of their personal twist.
Whether they pass judgement, agree or disagree, love you more or pull away is the result of their level of open mindedness, their capacity for empathy and compassion. Not a reflection of whether your authentic truth is acceptable or not.
Remember that not everyone has to like what we say, how we feel, or who we are. (Something I wish our teens could understand and be comfortable with.)
We all deserve to respectfully and truthfully express ourselves.
In a recent conversation on this topic, a friend suggested that before we speak our truth, we should know our audience.
Knowing our audience doesn’t mean we hold back when we’re around certain people and we let it all rip with others – it just means oftentimes we can anticipate who will be more receptive and who will be closed off to hearing our honesty and more likely to push back at us than others.
And push back is ok.
If we can remain open – it can lead to meaningful conversations, discussion, learning, growth, and to a deeper acceptance of ourselves and each other.
Push back can feel an much like judgement. And maybe sometimes it is.
So what? That’s still not ours to own.
No one can make you feel wrong or unworthy of truthful expressive freedom unless you allow them to.
Expressing the truth is a form of self-care.
Midlife is the perfect time to give speaking your truth a whirl if you haven’t already. The list of who we are trying to impress is getting down to zero. The fear of push back from friends and family who aren’t open and willing to hear us has significantly diminished.
Our priorities and what matters to us is becoming clearer than ever before.
Honest self-expression is a kind of freedom.
The freedom that opens space in your mind to learn and grow and evolve. To be at ease and comfortable with yourself.
It’s through the expression of our truth that we can slowly lower our guard and discover how good it feels to repel judgement.
How to let judgement fall on us like rain and let it roll right off like water on a duck’s feathers.
This is a time in life for new beginnings, a new chapter to get back in touch with the you that may have been buried under years and layers of fear, shame, self-doubt and unworthiness.
Cheers to finding the courage to speak your own truth and share your beautiful, glorious, imperfect authentic self.
If this is you and you’re feeling it, please share this with a friend.
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